Anyone could have
told you from the start that a wide-ranging reduction in finicky law enforcement
and official toleration and the staunch and fearless encouragement of a myriad of overseas customs would
encourage ever-greater personal morality
and inter-racial
tolerance, growing like mighty oaks in England's capital.
But despite it all;
despite the hatemongers and nay-sayers and Little Englanders the whole effort
has proved completely worthwhile if a former police officer who brought his
family out of war-torn Sierra Leone can feel right at home in London.
And just look at
that vibrant and diverse local life, employing the English language in our
language’s ancient heartland and bringing a fresh new music to our native
tongue:
A witness saw the defendant strike
Julie’s collarbone without much effect and then plunge the comb into her skull.
Read the awesome brevity of the original first. Dumb Jon exposes official secrecy at the Met here.
The very idea that our paid, professional protectors are loath to co-operate with a charity (I think it’s some kind of victims’ pressure-group, but let’s let that pass) that simply reports incidents of violence will need some explanation.
In a statement, the Met said: 'We do not endorse the reporting of street crime through the MPS website or any other third party website.
'This is predominantly due to concerns over victim safety and the importance of deploying officers in person as quickly as possible to scenes of serious street crime.
'Street crime is taken very seriously by the MPS, and in order to reduce street crime and catch offenders, the MPS urges victims to contact police in the quickest way possible by calling 999 or speaking to an officer on patrol nearby.'
Of course, some of today’s Twitter-addled youth might just be stupid enough to believe that posting a crime report on the Net is as good as calling the actual police (they’ve been ill-educated enough to think their self-esteem matters above all other things including what we adults fondly call ‘reality’, so that publishing their pain is being just as good as being an active citizen), and if so that seems a fair enough concern.
Except… What’s that ‘predominantly’ doing there? What else might worry the professionals?
As Jon hints, it might be that such a map might show some disquieting patterns after a few months of use. Perhaps – and you’d better hold on tight here because it could get rough – it would show an uneven distributions of violent crime reports. What if (to choose absurd examples and for effect only - do NOT try this at home) Golder’s Green and Kensington and Chelsea showed a disappointing lack of violent street attacks but that, oh, I don’t know, Brixton and Tower Hamlets sprouted a veritable forest of little flags? That wouldn’t be fair, would it, because it’s unequal and inequality’s the worst thing in the world ever: rproper Room 101 stuff, yeah? Perhaps to even up certain social inequalities thus exposed it might prove necessary to accentuate the crimes that are never punished because no-one in power cares. Someone could add flags for hurtful snobbery, or not renting spare rooms to welfare claimants, or being visibly religious – amongst the Left’s most feared and most untouchable 'real' crimes. Or somebody could add in the positives in cheerful colours to break up all those tedious patches of red and orange - cool blues and soothing greens, perhaps - for posts such as;”It was 3.30 AM on Tuesday and through my bedroom wall and along all the joists in the roof and from the very foundations of the house I could suddenly hear the sunny sounds of merriment as music redolent of warm beaches and rum-filled pineapples. This replaced my anxious dreams about tomorrow’s early shift at the warehouse with a comforting reminder of multicultural reality here in London,” or; “It was nine-thirty PM on Saturday and I was followed from my home by a group of good-natured youths who very vocally and charmingly complimented me on my modest good looks and the glittering dress I was wearing for a night out dancing, and who invited me to party of their own. At one point, their flattery became quite insistent.”
Nah.
I think a likelier explanation is that the Met is concerned that somehow cyber crime reporting will be inauthentic. A poster would miss out on the true feeling of reporting assaults against person and property in today’s professional law-enforcement environment. Perhaps high-ranking police officers areconvinced by their own personal experience that a virtual event that is enjoyed crouched in front of a PC or Apple is likely to be less rich and engaging than the real thing with all its sights and sounds and smells, such and the tactile joys of Police Station plastic benches pressing up against the tired thighs of a freshly mugged pensioner. If any single group in the land knows the difference between online and real world experience personally, it’s likely that London’s New Labour-endorsed Met hierarchy is it.
Perhaps the clever people at Witness Confident should ask their techies to make streetviolence.org more real for their customers. After all, in an industry that produces games where you mow down hundreds of realistic-looking zombies or race virtual Ferraris around London’s smooth, unblocked streets, surely streetviolence.org’s functions could be redesigned to fit in a five hour delay for posts to appear on the browsers of the capital; only then to be wiped an hour later and require re-posting with all the fun of filling in endless fields and ticking boxes all over again - and maybe then it still fails to post inexplicably? Perhaps after two days they could send the victim a helpful email sympathizing with their plight and offer them a phone number for victim support? And after that no more communication from streetviolence.org, ever?
The Witness Confident spokesman seemed to think so.
Mr Dehn added: 'As a way of telling the police you can help, the site is a welcome alternative to hanging behind at the scene, standing around at a police station or waiting in line at a call centre.
'This matters as there's little chance the police can make our streets safer if witnesses don't come forward.
'One of the things that has been lost in recent years is engagement with police ... If you want to help police, this allows you to contact them 24/7 at the convenience of your computer.'
Actually, on reflection I think my own musings and Mr Dehn’s above might be more than a little naïve.
Now, if Witness Confident were to market the website to the Met as the culmination of the decades-long evolution of police work and crime reporting from its primitive and barbaric past they might win a greater acceptance from the Met.
They should look wryly back together to an unlamented past when police officers physically pursued criminals (how quaint that judgmental old word sounds today!) with the intention that the evidence, witness statements, the process of the law and sensible magistrates and twelve good men and true would come together somehow to put a miscreant off the streets for a time long enough to a regret hurting other folk (as if that ever worked at all!). Then the Met would realise that streetviolence.org is the final step towards the intelligent design of the Last Men who - long ago warned off by the Police against ‘having a go’ or ‘taking the law into their own hands’ and terrorized against becoming that supreme evil; a vigilante - will simply and passively enter the tragedy of their crime-ruined lives where they can become anonymous and ignored statistics as is right and proper.
Isn’t this what modern policing actually wants from us?
At least the fat bloke had a mission statement (however gentle) to combat rowdiness in his New Jersey shopping mall by calling for official backup;
Detect, Deter, Observe, and Report.
What’s the Met’s mantra for those poor bloody cockernies?
Call me old-fashioned if you like, (and if you want to call me an abject, cringing worm it’ll cost you £400 an hour and you’ll have to bring your own dustpan, brush and riding-crop), but what I think England needs today is more mandatory youth sensitivity training for its police officers at all ranks from the front-line ticket-writing truncheon-droppers all the way up to the braid-bedecked Knighthood-swilling consultancy-pensioned retired Deputy Assistant Chief responsibility-avoiders, with added cultural outreach programme co-ordination validation. It’s worked so well since Scarman, so please let’s have some more.
Dumb Jon makes much of how the Tory administration, via that millionaire man of the people and down wiv da kids septuagenarian Kenneth Clarke, is honouring the European political aspiration that justice should be blind. And Europe’s good, right?
In fact, they honour it so generously that they’ve improved it with a whole raft of 21st Century upgrades: now justice is deaf, insensitive, spineless and severely mentally impaired as well!
Actually, irrespective of any smart-arse comment I might be inclined to make anywhere about all of this, the story about Gabrielle Browne kicks away yet another leg of liberalism’s nothing-to-see-here-nothing-to-worry-about platform of quasi-complacency about the criminal justice system.
Aside from taking that name literally, libs make much of the so-called “independent judiciary,” and how the independent judiciary (and the independent judiciary alone) can protect us from the Creeping Fascism Horror that otherwise would stalk the land, Daily Mail in pocket: hassling the kids; victimizing women, blacks and gays and hunting the unemployed from horseback.
Just what is the modern judiciary supposed to be independent of?
I mean, if the Justice Secretary doesn’t want overlong or excessively harsh sentences for the most vulnerable rapists and non-sexual violent attackers in society and the judges (such as the limerick-inspiring Judge Beverley Lunt) don’t want overlong or excessively harsh sentences for the most vulnerable rapists and non-sexual violent attackers in society, and when the frontline magistrates are chosen from the ranks of social workers and those who openly reject the very notion of judgment and who are recruited according to the iron-bound strictures of ring fenced and officially-enforced diversity, you’ve got to wonder who, if anyone, the independent judiciary will not be influenced by.
Pagan officers will be able to join revellers at Stonehenge
Pagan police officers in some areas are being allowed to take as many as eight days leave a year for events such as the summer solstice and Halloween.
That would be from the bogus and unhistorical hodge-potch eight festivals of Wicca.
Pc Pardy is allowed to take eight days per year for Pagan events - which form part of his annual leave.
Pagans worship nature and believe in many gods and their practices include witchcraft and druidism.
Typical BBC non-research research here.
The largest single strand if British neopaganism is heathenry/Asatru/the Northern Tradition/Odinism. Despite being heavily Christianized today because that faith was successfully wiped out by the Church for a thousand years and it is only now revived as a modern minority cult. All that rape, pillage and slavery is out; nice parties with mead and oaths and cute little cakes with runes iced on them and gingerbread men and animals for hanging on Odin’s tree are in.I don’t suppose the Beeb will be rushing to interview many heathens any time soon. ‘Druidry’ (also revived from scratch but with much less documentary evidence and no scriptures) cherishes the Earth, Nature and like the copy-and-paste Wicca cares for the environment, emphasizes the sacred feminine and…
You can see how this is going.
Heathenry on the other hand refers specifically to known peoples who really existed, whose scriptures and histories were written down, and who inhabited particular areas and spoke certain languages and therefore whose descendants still live in identifiable communities today. These are called ‘countries.’
You can see how this is going too, I’d imagine.
Sure; some Odinist groups are, ahem, rather folkish and a bit too eager to show the world their recently-applied underarm deodorant (which compares favourably in the matter of personal hygiene with some of the crustier druids in my opinion), but even the majority of heathens who merely have a historical sense and modest patriotism aren’t going to find themselves with any sympathetic coverage from Auntie any time soon.
Original inhabitants? Ancient settlements? Anglo-Saxon kingdoms? The Danelaw? Don’t look for a substantial guide to modern Germanic religion in context from the BBC any time soon as their pages, though okay, neglect to mention nationality and any mention of shared patriotic sentiments altogether.
But sectarian bitching aside, look at the spirit in which this thing has been done.
The officers concerned could have gone into this with a positive attitude and have something worthy and brave to offer the public whom they serve and the police forces that pay their wages. Something like:
‘My religion gives me strength to work in a corrupt and dangerous world. My faith buoys up my morale when I see evil spoiling this ancient land and our wonderful world, and it arms me like the pagan warriors of old with the courage to persevere despite all setbacks to pursue justice and to protect these islands and preserve their holy sovereignty against all harm.’
Somehow I don’t think this is too high up on the agenda of the PPA.
I suspect it’s all about rights. For rights, read ‘privileges.’
Superintendent Simon Hawkins, of Hertfordshire Police, said: "While balancing operational needs, the force's religion and beliefs policy gives all staff the choice of re-allocating the traditional Christian bank holiday festivals to suit their personal faith beliefs and this has been very well-received from a number of faith groups including Muslim and Jewish.
I can imagine it being perhaps convenient the some middle-ranking officers who concoct the duty rosters to have officers on duty over Christmas and Easter and maybe New Year ’s Eve in Scotland just as some store managers are happy to have Muslims on the staff to cover those dates. But do remember that Hogmanay was pretty much a pan-European festival so WPC Rowan Morrison might still want that festival off to find a nice sergeant and play with matches.
And then there’s the whole Friday / Saturday / Sunday thing:
‘Sure, take Woden’s day off, and the Thurse’s day Constable Conan – no problem…’
But isn’t it just as likely that this might be the kind of thing we’ll get:
Sir Ian Blair publicly warned the country’s top Muslim police officer to step into line yesterday over his racial discrimination claims.
The Scotland Yard Commissioner said every member of his force must ‘work to my direction’ or be dealt with ‘robustly and quickly’.
Sir Ian spoke out before holding crisis talks with Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur who, according to friends, is on the brink of launching a claim for compensation at an employment tribunal….
Members of the NBPA last night backed Mr Ghaffur and called on Home Secretary Jacqui Smith to intervene in the row.
Mr Ghaffur revealed documents supporting his claim of racial discrimination to a meeting of the NBPA executive.
The group, led by Metropolitan Police Commander Ali Dizaei, said it was 'totally and utterly convinced' the claim was legitimate. Among the documents were believed to be allegations of victimisation by Commissioner Sir Ian Blair and Police Authority chair Len Duvall….
An NBPA spokesman said: 'The National Black Police Association have held a formal meeting with Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur.
'Having reviewed the evidence we are astonished at the amount of material which was presented to us in support of his case. Assistant Commissioner Ghaffur appears to have been treated extremely poorly.
A MUSLIM chef is suing the Met after being asked to cook pork sausages and bacon for breakfast.
Hasanali Khoja has accused the force of religious discrimination after it refused to guarantee that he would not have to handle pork.
Because what the police force needs more of today is more victims with special privileges, right?
‘I’m sorry sir, but this is an ancient and sacred wood – cutting it down is just plain wrong. In my grief, I plain missed the protesters when they bust in past our cordon…’
‘Shamans have used mind-bending drugs for millennia to speak to the spirits, and on the Solstice the walls between the worlds of Mankind and of the Ancestors are the weakest…’
Or, much more likely than actual corruption:
‘I explained to Sergeant Smith at the time that taking mead and performing The Great Rite are our holiest traditions and she didn’t mention any objections to the robes when we got home from the party.
The Police Service in institutionally monotheist and that is why I’ve never been given promotion and I’m being made an example of here.’
No, this may very well be just another way of inventing special people around whom institutions must bend their activities and limit their goals, and increase their costs.
What else can such an organisation do, but divide the police further?
Hang ‘em high, stamp their stupid healing crystals into grit, feed them to Odin’s Ravens and get some git-hard coppers who’ll not stop until the job’s done - even if it means crossing ley-lines at Beltaine.
This makes sense – if you’ve been living in New Labour Britain for twelve years and you have already come to love Big Gordie and his minions.
POLICE will be sending crime prevention advice to residents by text message in the next few days as part of a new scheme.
Messages will be sent by bluetooth to mobile phones in areas across Lancashire where burglaries have taken place.
evnng al
Messages will include warnings to make sure doors and windows are locked and houses are secure.
wtch ot thr’s bglar abt
Officers will be using the novel method to highlight to residents, important information about home security and police hope they will remind people about the importance of keeping properties locked, especially during the night.
tbh, U gt 2 stay awake on hot nites or steem indrs
This comes as part of Operation Julius, a countywide campaign to reduce burglaries in Lancashire.
rofl
Chief Inspector Damian Darcy…
as in Prd N Prjdc ffs?!
lol
…said: “These messages should act as a wake-up call to residents
‘By ‘eck, Gladys, it’s t’mobile phone machine sending me a text message. Can there be trouble at t’mill, or is some gormless pie-muncher trying to wake me up an’ me on earlies an' all?’
… reminding them to make sure their doors and windows are locked and that their houses are secure.
Because we don’t want to return to the bad old days when such measures were famously unnecessary, now do we? That would require: policing (with backup for arresting officers instead of War and Peace form-filling), actual punishment, judgmentalism, judgment, and judges. And no way that’s going to happen…
“In the summer, and particularly due to the very warm weather, we know that people have a tendency to leave windows and doors open, leaving them vulnerable to burglars.
“These open doors and windows are invitations to a burglar.
Women who dress sexily are just asking for it, aren’t they? Same deal for property owners.
rite?
In over a third of all burglaries, thieves don’t have to break in because people have left windows and doors unlocked.
Fair enough. We’ll make it hard for them – if the authorities will make it hard for the others who do have to break in.
dnt hld yr brth
“Getting a text message from the police as you settle down for the night, telling you that a burglary may have occurred in your area and asking you if you have made sure your windows and doors are secure will definitely make people sit up in bed, think and take action.
Such as introducing the Men’s freestyle Nokia-throwing to the Lancashire Games this summer, or adding to the incidence of domestic incidents round about the time when marital cocoa is allowed to cool down.
Lancashire lads don’t just brush their teeth and take their boots off to hear from Plod, let me tell you.
“If a burglary occurs officers will be deployed to that area to prevent further offences.
Catchy, isn’t it: not catching? D’you think it might catch on – not catching?
"As part of their patrol plan these text messages will be sent out.
“The text messages will point out that burglary in Lancashire is at its lowest in 35 years and we want to keep it that way.
Have the Muppets been officially declared the new aristocracy to rule over us wisely and firmly but kindly? Or is the following in fact not at all a really, really stupid idea?
Top cops visit burglars in FerretCity.
Daaa..da-da dah!
The story you are about to read is true.
Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent, if any.
My name’s Monday. I carry a club. I’m a cop.
Dah..da daaa-da!
EAST Lancashire’s top cops have paid personal visits to the area’s most prolific burglars as part of a month-long crack-down on crime.
July 5, 9.21 am. Lancashire Police HQ.
I took a patrol car and drove the brass from downtown into the dark heart of FerretCity’s Lower East Side. Riding along was an exchange-placement officer on a PR junket for City Hall – a shapeless, smiling foreigner and a distant relative of the Frenchman who wrote Magic Roundabout.
Already I knew it was gonna be a bad day.
Finally convincing the brass that, yes, the seatbelt and smoking regulations applied above the rank of Detective Sergeant, I took the fast and dirty route up the Barnoldswick Road, past Charlie Wong’s Racetrack; second home to Ferret City’s biggest dreamers and the final resting-place of its slowest greyhounds – also the graveyard of many a Friday wage packet and many more marriages to women called Vera.
Pausing only to spend fifteen minutes going around Ferret City’s award-winning counter-clockwise one-way traffic system with its ACPO-approved traffic-calming measures, we were soon in the rotten heart of East Lancashire’s Red Zone; the Merdbeck Estate.
Daaa..da-da dah!
Superintendent Buddy Kowalski and Chief Inspector Myron Napolitano delivered warning letters to five of the area’s most persistent burglars who operate across Blackburn, Darwen, Hyndburn and the RibbleValley yesterday.
‘Intel says this one’s a real hard nut,’ growled Kowalski, ‘A real low-life shyster, pimp, pusher, fence, trellis, ornamental hedge, water feature and grafter named Leonardo ’Lenny the Ring-Tailed Lemur Romano. ’
I wondered if the Intel guys had been into the evidence locker again with the Sarah Lee Cookie Dough and were even now ordering two eighteen–inch everything-included meat-feast pizzas apiece from Mohammed ‘Mo the Cheese’ Khan’s takeaway and fast food bar on Corporation Street.
‘Listen Monday,’ Kowalski went on, ‘This time I don’t want you staring and the ceiling throughout the whole interview and pretending to be an actor shadowing us for the day. You hear?’
Intel were on form. There’s nobody in all of Lancashire called Leonardo Romano but Kevin McFall was at the address alright: in an unornamented council flat with its National Collection of flat-screen TVs, but his name wasn’t on the letter so it was impossible to serve him with the paper.
Not that he needed more – he had an ASBO for every one of those giant TVs but not a single receipt.
The Frenchman smiled as we left to the musical accompaniment of McFall’s untouchable laughter.
Daaa..da-da dah!
Twenty-five others who form the ‘top 30’ burglars in Lancashire have been swooped on by senior officers from other police divisions.
Geographic inspectors across the county will also be paying a visit to their area’s most troublesome offenders.
It’s not easy to like people in a place whose very name conjures up images of squirming translucent things evolving in the primordial soup but you’re grateful for the lack of hospitality in Darwen Road where the kitchens are never used for cooking - unless you count unwrapping kebabs or heating up the wrong end of spoons.
‘You coming out of there, O’ Brannigan?’ yelled the kneeling Napolitano through the broken letterbox of the apartment. Napolitano was smarter than the average skateboarder though his meteoric rise through the police ranks had been slow in the first couple of years when he had actually attended monumental stone carving classes. There’s a good side and a bad side to the brass learning about the existence of the Internet, but one quick glimpse at Wikipedia’s disambiguation facility and he was on his way to higher places.
‘We no understan’, copper,’ came a muffled cry from within. ’You got warrant?’ inquired a pseudo-Polish voice of the ball-of-fur that I’ve written down on numerous reports since his grade school truancy days and spelled as Gary Butler, but who I call neither ‘Gary’ nor ‘Bulter’.
Not in the recesses of what remains of my soul.
‘Well, no, actually, I don’t have a warrant as this isn’t really an investigation as such. It’s just that we’re onto you O’Brannigan, we know all about your light-fingered ways, and if you try to pull any heists in my town, I’ll jolly well come down hard on you, like.-
‘-like a ton of social workers? Public defenders? Police brutality complaints?
If you’ve got anything on me, then kick in the door and come get me, but otherwise, go ‘way now. I’m busy with my bitches.’
‘That went well,’ beamed Napolitano on the way down 67 Darwen Road’s needle-tinkling stairs as I made a mental note to cross Criminology Degree off my Amazon wish-list.
The French guy just smiled again, and scribbled in his little grey book.
Daaa..da-da dah!
Chief Inspector Napolitano, who is leading the operation in Eastern Division, said: “Burglary in Lancashire is at its lowest in 35 years, but we want to keep it that way and this is just one of many tactics aimed at disrupting the activities of our most prolific burglars.
This type of crime is iconic and has an adverse impact on public confidence, not only to victims, but to the wider community.”
July 5, 12.16 am. Case, Bag and Cash Trading Inc. Ecclestone Munitions Industrial Estate. FerretCity.
‘Icons…Icons. L’yet me see. ‘Lyet me see…’ said Kiselev as we stood gormlessly in his pawn shop right after Chief Napolitano had explained Lancashire’s brilliant new anti-crime strategy to him.
The fence wandered off, chuckling, into the back of his shop that I knew contained half the stolen goods in Lancashire. There was a keyboard tapping sound as username and passwords were deleted and contacts broken but it meant nothing to the brass; I’d recently had to explain to Kowalski that login wasn’t a Russian surname.
Kiselev returned. ‘So sorry, gentlemens,’ he smiled, wiping tears from empty, satisfied eyes, ‘But I haff no icons. I got many stuffed animals y’and also plasma screen televisions like new, y’and also very large collection of Hannah Montana merchandise from this poor teacher you arrest by accident last week and release without charges. Also I got much nice new house furnishings and ornaments from MP now spending time wit’ h’yis researcher family before election but no icons, unfortunate.
You say there is much house-breakings in FerretCity, officers; despite the lowest crime since thirty years, God be thanked? I know nothing of such.’
‘Well just you keep an eye out for suspicious characters coming in here, Mister Kiselev,’ said Napolitano, as Kowalski eyed a silk evening gown and silver fox stole longingly.
‘Sure will, y’inspector. Glad to help polices always. Y’and if you is having difficults with forensic evidencs for this one crime or that one, SOCKO budget low and no overtimes, you be giving me a call da? Haff friend in National DNA Database from old days.’
‘Why that’s very public spirited of you, Mister Kiselev,’ put in Kowalski as he put down something silk and spangled with diamante with obvious regret.
The Frenchman met my eyes on the way back to the squad car as he muttered into a pocket mike.
There are a million stories in the City of Pigeons.
Daaa..da-da dah!
.“There are a small minority of people responsible for committing the majority of burglaries.” The message to them is simple: we know who you are, we know where you live, and if you continue to commit crime, you will be targeted.”
The warning letters are the first phase of Operation Julius, a campaign aiming to reduce burglaries across Lancashire.
Other aspects to be employed will involve filming suspects as they go about their day-to-day lives.
Superintendent Kowalski said: “We want burglars to know we are watching them.
“Most intitatives are to counteact a problem, but we have the lowest crime rates for 35 years and we want to keep it that way.”
He added: “It’s not often you get a Chief Inspector and a Superintendent knocking on people’s doors.“
But we know the impact these people have on the community and we want to show them we’re not messing about.“
They won’t like getting these warnings, or being watched.
“But it’s their choice. If they stop offending, they won’t have to worry.”
July 5, 15.32 am. 9 Tockholes Walk, Merdbeck Estate. FerretCity.
Sharon Plank was a bust.
Even her bust was a bust: despite years of work the twin towers of the former Miss East Lancashire and The Blackburn Intelligencer’s Playbloke Supplement centrefold Ferretgirl of the Month for October 1996 has seen better days. One of those better days had apparently been 9/11.
‘Listen copper,’ she sneered as Kowalski handed her a threatening letter from the Lancashire Constabulary (into which I was fairly sure was folded a hastily-scrawled note requesting the name of her plastic surgeon and the address of her costume suppliers), ‘I don’t know nothing about no burglaries.’She scratched under her hair-net alluringly.
‘What’s this? You hassling my wife?’ rumbled my old pal Terry Dean Reynolds as he emerged from a back room that was filled with well-thumbed law books and purely decorative Housing Benefit claim forms full of imaginative names and identities for his amateur dramatic society nights down at the Overspill Refugee Centre.
‘You’re always round here bothering us, and we never done nothing’ - except that one time. Which was self-defence.
You never get pictures or forensics or hire lawyers from anywhere but Ferret City U who couldn’t spot a walk-away technicality if it bit them on the arse. There’s never going to be enough filth on the street when you’re always in the station house doin’ paperwork or away on diversity courses or poncin’ around with the communities. So I’m laughing at your Operation Julius which you’ll never have the manpower to follow through or the overtime to back up.
You ought to get out more year in: year out an’ spend some money on beat coppers like the old sod who always put my Dad in nick.
So you get out an’ don’t let the door hit you on the arse as you go. An’ take that Frog bastard with you.’
Kowalski beamed with delight at this last remark.
‘That’s racial harassment, Mister Reynolds, and we know how to deal with that kind of thing in my town.’
Kowalski turned to the Frenchman who was now stroking his Zebedee moustaches and jumping up and down like he was on a spring.
