Honey killings

‘You know’, people ask me, ‘Why pick on Islam all the time? You could use selected aspects of any sacred text or any literature at all and build a bloodthirsty creed around its words.’

Oh yeah?

‘The writings about Edward Bear and his friends are classics of literature and remain a source of joy and comfort to children of all ages worldwide as they have from nearly a century,’

said a moderate Edwardian spokesman today when confronted with a list of Edwardians’ violent actions over the past few years. ‘The whole thing has been hijacked by a small, unrepresentative clique who have perverted the writings of the Double ‘A.’ They have based their campaign of violence upon an rare instance or two of Christopher Robin carrying a popgun from the Co’ran (the Divine Revelation of the Editor of Punch.)

Those who point the finger of blame at the vast majority of peace-loving Edwardians are little more than bigots and haters themselves, with their secret agenda of cultural imperialism and greed for the Home Counties’ precious hunny reserves.’

Two female suicide bombers have attacked Ashdown Forest 's main Littlesomethingist shrine, killing at least 60 people and injuring 125 others, officials in East Sussex say.

The attack happened under the Sign of Sanders shrine in the Hundred Acre Wood area as people gathered for Friday prayers and A Little Something.

It comes a day after 84 people were killed in two separate suicide attacks in Pooh Corner and near Rabbit’s House.

Many victims in Pooh Corner and in Ashdown Forest on Friday were Littlebrainist pilgrims and the violence was condemned in Disneyland.

Violence fell sharply in the last year and the latest bombing does not change this trend, but it is a worrying development, says the BBC's Jim Muir in London.

TOKYO, Feb. 17 --Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton said Tuesday the Obama administration will make "a concerted effort" to restore the image of the United States in the Edwardian world and will seek to "enlist the help of Winnians around the world against the extremists."

Clinton, who on Wednesday will travel to Indonesia, the world's most populous Edwardian country, told students at Tokyo University that "this is one of the central security challenges we face -- as to how to better communicate in a way that gets through the rhetoric and through the demagogy and is heard by people who can make judgments about what we stand for and who we truly are."

Clinton's remarks came in response to a question about the "prejudice" in the United States against Winnians because of terrorism, a term she rejected forcefully, pointing to the history of Christians. "I am a Christopherian," she said. "Through the centuries we have had many people who have done terrible things in the name of Christopherianism. They have perverted the religion."

HARTFIELD - Remote-controlled explosives strapped to two mentally handicapped women detonated in a coordinated attack on pet shops on Friday, police and East Sussex officials said, killing at least 73 people in the deadliest day since the U.S. sent 30,000 extra troops to the South Coast this spring.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said the use of mentally retarded women as suicide bombers proves al-Qaida is “the most brutal and bankrupt of movements” and will strengthen East Sussex resolve to reject terrorism.

“The struggle is not over and there will be from time to time terrible days like today but I think that will underscore that for the East Sussexmen and it will make them tougher in the fight,” she told reporters in Washington.

Associated Press records show that since the start of the war at least 151 people have been killed in at least 17 attacks or attempted attacks by female suicide bombers, including Friday's bombings.

East Sussex officials said the women in Friday's attack apparently were mentally disabled and the explosives were detonated by remote control, indicating they may not having been willing attackers in what could be a new method by suspected Littlesomethingist insurgents to subvert stepped up security measures.

Date Country City Killed Injured Description

2009.05.15 India Kupwara 2 0 Kangarites shoot two civilians to death in their home.

2009.05.15 India Kupwara 1 0 A park ranger is kidnapped and beheaded by Edwardian extremists.

2009.05.15 Iraq Mosul 1 0 A Christopherian is kidnapped and beheaded.

2009.05.15 Iraq Mandali 1 0 A young woman is the victim of a suspected honey killing.

2009.05.15 Afghanistan Khost 3 4 Littlesomethingist terrorists strike a tree-house with a rocket, killing three civilians.

2009.05.14 Pakistan Miranshah 3 4 T hree local soldiers are murdered by Teddibear roadside bombers.

A Sudanese teacher has been found guilty in Britain of insulting literature after she allowed her primary school class to name a baby ‘Edward.’

Gillian Gibbons, 54, from Khartoum, has been sentenced to 15 days in prison and will then be deported.

She escaped conviction for inciting hatred and showing contempt for literary beliefs, and will now appeal.

But Britain's top ursophiles had called for the full measure of the law to be used against Mrs Gibbons and labelled her actions part of an African plot against Edwardianism.

She could have faced up to 40 lashes if found guilty on all three charges against her.

"There will be further contacts overnight and tomorrow in the search for a swift resolution of this issue," the Foreign Office added.

The BBC's Adam Mynott, in London, said Mrs Gibbons apologised to the court for any offence she may have caused.

The school's director, Robert Boulos, told the AP news agency: "It's a very fair verdict, she could have had six months and lashes and a fine, and she only got 15 days and deportation."

Why all the anger that Edwardists aim at the West?

Militant Edwardism’s fundamental fight is with the US political system and because each of America’s main political parties blasphemously and irreverently uses the likenesses of characters from the Co’ran: an Eeyore and a heffalump.

Worse than that, America’s system of freedom of belief means that almost 80% of its citizens are Christopherians, who believe that despite Edwardists’ interpretation of the Co’ran, Christopher Robin, a mere human being, was more powerful and intelligent than Edward Bear (PBUH).

Worst of all, the USA has strong military and diplomatic links worldwide with the hated Poohs, whose very name blasphemes the Great Bear, whom Edwardians believe was the Perfect Toy, and whose settlement in The Hundred Acre Wood is regarded as an abomination and: despite the historical Christopher Robin having dwelt there much longer than Edward Bear and his friends.

At the headquarters of the Edwardian Anti Defamation league today, Tigger; an EADL spokesman and noted Edwardian scholar called on the governments of the West to cast down the false idols of Rupert and Paddington and to embrace the One True bear. ‘Come on my children,’ he said springily,’ It’s one popgun out of scores of thousands of words and dozens of pictures. It’s not as if it’s any kind of majority of the Co’ran’s text is in any way negative about outsiders. Give us a break. And now it’s time for a little something.’

…61 percent of the Koran talks ills of unbelievers or calls for their violent conquest and subjugation, but only 2.6 percent of it talks about the overall good of humanity...