Saturday, 5 September 2009

I sees no ships

My old bushy-tailed pal Cokeface The Generic Creole Conservative Squirrel from Nourishing Obscurity gives us the low-down on Uncle Sam’s latest military dare-to-be-truthful press release.

Dis from Da Penagroan ittsel’ me homies. Ay an’ I be missing dem sayin’ out loud da exac’ name o’ de Dalek fret to life, liver tree and da pursuit of Harpie Nose, an’whatever…

Commander Focuses on Stopping Asia-Pacific Terrorism

By Donna Miles

American Forces Press Service

WASHINGTON, Sept. 4, 2009 – Calling counter-terrorism one of U.S. Pacific Command’s top priorities, its commander says he’s seeing headway made through increased regional cooperation and information-sharing.

Navy Adm. Timothy J. Keating, in a Sept. 2 news conference, called the merger of assets and capabilities a big step toward the ultimate goal of eliminating violent extremist groups…

Dis will be they Daleks and….


…showers of Ice Warriors. Later on de violence be turnin Zygons, wid a 40% chance of Zarbies.

…throughout Asia and the Pacific Rim.
“We are a long way from that, in my personal view,…

Dis lad personal view, it be Hot, man! Soon he gone notice all they bommins an’ boomins in da Pacific when dose Sontarans, dey hit Old Bombay Town, you bet!

…but it is one of our highest priorities at U.S. Pacific Command,” Keating said during the news conference at the U.S. Embassy in Wellington, New Zealand.
“The struggle against violent extremism continues…

He nearly name Da Name theres, yez sees? He so nearly said “de Daleks be Da Babylon in da Pacific teater of operations, sho’ ‘nuff.” Ay an’ I be waitn fo’ ‘ims to name Names pretty soon.

The events…

Man, dey be exterminatins boy: exterminatins! He evah gonna name de spatulate-bladed lever-handled digging tool as de spatulate-bladed lever-handled digging tool?

…in Jakarta just a couple of months ago certainly illustrate to all of us that we have work to do here,” he said, referring to terrorists’ deadly hotel attacks in July.

Keating also noted the November terror attacks in Mumbai, India,

See? I toleds yez de Admiral, he be da Del Monte Man about Bombay already! Still, ay an’ I could do wiv a hint. I mean, dese guys. Dey not be playin in da front row wid Bernie Gonniff’s Saxaphone Sounds Of Salsa at the Fishbein Bar Mitzvah any time soon, yez tink? Yez know what ay an’ I am sayin’?

…that left at least 166 dead.
“As you move throughout the Asia-Pacific region, you will find concentrations of terrorists in certain locations,”

An’ dey not be in Skaro, Gallifrey or New New York, yez gets what ay an’ I be sayin? Dey be near da naan bread but not da bagels, ay an’ I be guessin.

…he said. “We’re doing our best to assist those countries to combat terrorists and to make life more secure and more stable … for everybody in those countries.”

Keating pointed to Indonesia and the Philippines as examples of progress being made.

Well, compared wid de Mumbai an’ de Planet Of De Dead, dey be successes, an’ dis pretty lass be getting away wid de caution sometime soon, an’ maybe de slap on de wrist?

Also, compared wid de Saudis and de Autons, if she gets to keep de hand on de wrist, it be better still.

Good call, Admirable.

“We are pleased with the results Indonesia has made in restricting movement of violent extremists,” and in making it difficult for them to get the administrative, logistical and financial support they need to operate, he said.

Dat only leave de whole Middle East an’ Nort Africa an’ de Pennines an’ Luton an’ de Himalaya lands an’ Turkey an’ Kosovo an’ part of Central Ayesha an’ de Midwest to clear up now. Say, you sure be tinkin’ way ahead here, boy!

Meanwhile, about 600 U.S. special operations forces are in southern Philippines. In addition to training the country’s armed forces in counterinsurgency and counterterrorist warfare, Keating said they’re also sharing information and providing logistical help.

As in - an’ ay an’ I surely hope so - as in “actually is fightin de war alongside dem gallant Flips deyselves, likes da Vietnam but widout de cool music track and de embarrassin’ surrender an’ da huge jenny-sides an’ de many moussakas of civvy-lions afterwards in absolute secret when de liberal press be only lookin at some Republican dey doan like, Richard Nikkon de cameraman, maybes, or dat Sarah Palin who be yey funnier dan ’er Dad - exceptin maybe when ’e sing de Lumberjack Song?

Man, I be lovin’ dat ole song!

Keating said he knows of no concentration of terrorist groups in New Zealand and its southern Pacific region, and vowed that the United States will do whatever it can to help New Zealanders keep it that way.

Well, if der admirabule Admiral says dey be no concentration of violent terrorist groups in dat ole New Zealand (at least now since the Native Filmmakers’ Liberation Front packed up and made de ting about da killa sheep-kebabs on a budget de size of Viggo Mortensen’s coffee tab), den ay an’ I say dere be no concentration of violent terrorist groups in New Zealand.

As a friend of the Ferny Islands myself ay an’ I feel sure that with dis attitude, dose ole Kiwi anti-terrorist forces be signin up fo’ mo’ an’ mo’ wisdom o’ dat Admiral.

His talks with New Zealand officials focused on the two countries’ mutual interest in stability and security throughout the Asia-Pacific region. They discussed opportunities for their militaries to conduct humanitarian assistance, disaster relief and search-and-rescue exercises as well as personnel exchanges.

All dat what be needed in de seaside resorts in Hawaii an’ in de Caliphornia after de Daleks or whoever it be be kickin de democratic gummink outta da Filly-peons, afta dat ole Omaha Barmcake be spendin de Defences Budgit growin Oak Trees whats nuts only pigs eat, or buying up all de body shops an’ beauty parlours an’ soda fountainheads what de poor folks needs a fair deal in car repairs an’ nail jobs an’ that cold, cold Coca Cola instead o’ just de rich bastards an’ de Jews like dat Pope Sharpton ‘e be sayin’ all days every days already.

These relationships, Keating told reporters, promote a secure, stable environment that makes it increasingly difficult for violent extremists to operate.

That, in turn, makes it “increasingly difficult, if not impossible, for terrorists to lash out in their utterly indiscriminate, ruthless, bloodthirsty fashion,” he said.

Yez tink maybe dey do it on purpose for a reason or summink? Like dey Daleks, dey really knows what dey be doin an’ not makin it all up as dey goes along?

Man, O man, dat ole Admiral, he sure hit de nail on de thumb alright. We wins for sures wid dis boy on de poop deck.


James Higham said...

increasingly difficult, if not impossible, for terrorists to lash out in their utterly indiscriminate, ruthless, bloodthirsty fashion...

What a way with words he has.

JuliaM said...

Isn't 'utterly indiscriminate, ruthless, bloodthirsty' pretty much the default position for a terrorist anyway...?

I want some of what this chap's smoking!


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