Eh-oh!

   Everything’s always lovely here in Tellytubbyland.

   Everyone’s always happy and nice to each other and no-one is ever Mean or Grumpy, unless we’ve made some silly mistake – Oh-oh! - that the Wise And Kindly Voices (who tell us what to do and when to go to bed or when a Story’s going to happen) can Make All Better by showing us all how silly we’ve been. In fact, no matter what goes wrong it never really lasts and there isn’t anything that can’t be Made All Better by a Big Hug or a Story.

   It never, ever rains or makes any nasty weather in Tellytubbyland – unless rain or nasty weather can give the Wise And Kindly Voices (who tell us what to do and when to go to bed) a reason for telling us a Story about rain or nasty weather and when they do that it’s always a lovely story and we’re all so very happy and grateful to listen to the Wise And Kindly Voices who tell us what to do and when to go to bed and when a Story’s going to happen. And the giant windmills really, really work.

   There’s always tubby toast and tubby custard from the machines to eat that never, ever run out because there’s always more from wherever tubby toast and tubby custard come from (unless we’ve made some silly mistake – Oh-oh! – that the Wise And Kindly Voices who tell us what to do and when to go to bed or when a Story’s going to happen can Make All Better by showing us all how silly we’ve been), and then usually it’s time for another Story so we never, ever have to go and find any tubby toast and tubby custard for ourselves, so we can go and play with our magical toys that come from Magicland and that never break or go wrong and that we never have to fetch for ourselves.

   And when the sun always shines and the bunny rabbits hop around, the Wise And Kindly Voices (who tell us what to do and when to go to bed) show us a Story about all the little children of the world who are nice and lovely and who are (almost) exactly like us and who only need a Big Hug and tubby toast and tubby custard and magical toys that come from Magicland and that never break or go wrong just like us - which is why everything always ends up All Better.

  And if we are ever extra silly and make a mess – Oh-oh! - then the Noo-Noo comes along to clean up the mess and it looks a little bit cross but we don’t mind and we never have to be upset or scared because we’ve made a mess because the Noo-Noo is never really Grumpy and Mean to us. It just cleans up our mess and we can play with our magical toys that come from Magicland and that never break or go wrong and that we never have to fetch for ourselves.

   In fact, there really isn’t anyone in the whole wide world who’s Grumpy and Mean, because being really and truly Grumpy and Mean is IM-POSSIBLE – except for the Grumpy and Mean people who pretend that there are in fact Grumpy and Mean people, but they’re just silly.

  So if we never, ever listen to the Grumpy and Mean people who say that there are in fact Grumpy and Mean people somewhere, everything will be All Better and we can go on listening to lovely stories and eating tubby toast and tubby custard from the machines to eat that never, ever run out and go and play with our magical toys that come from Magicland and that never break or go wrong and that we never have to fetch for ourselves and we’re all so happy and grateful to listen to the Wise And Kindly Voices who tell us what to do and when to go to bed and when a Story’s going to happen.

   And if we believe it really, really hard, then nothing bad will ever, ever happen and it will always all be lovely and all the little children will always be loved and safe and happy here in Tellytubbyland because there are in fact no Grumpy and Mean people in the whole wide world at all.

In fact, we think that the last Grumpy and Mean person (who does not exist) has just gone away and no-one will ever, ever tell us that it isn’t going to be All Better ever again.

Big Hug.

By-Bye.