Friday, 27 November 2009

BBC: best ever headline

How on earth did I miss it last year? Did I miss it at all, or are approaching old age and anger messing with my memories like Willow interfering with Tara in her sleep?

Perhaps I blogged furiously about it at the time, but supermarket budget vodka and absolutely everything that President Obama, Gordon Brown, David Cameron and the BBC have done since have wiped that spurt of fury from my recollections.

Perhaps it was because it was my birthday and I was therefore eating a curry with Mrs. Northwester and watching The Matrix or The Thirteenth Warrior or some other towering cultural item that (half) explains but (mostly) disappoints as a metaphor for our times.

Anyway, it might amuse readers to think on’t and chuckle about the BBC’s pallid cultural relativism and its moral compass stuck due Left. Are you ready for this? Are you sitting comfortably?

Then I’ll begin.

“Some Imams 'biased against women’”

Many women felt they did not get a fair hearing under Sharia law

A Muslim think tank has found some UK Imams discriminate against women when enforcing Islamic Sharia law.

Whatever next, O my lucky readers? What other discomforting situations might the Gramscian BBC disingenuously camouflage, soften, and excuse in their mission to see us all onto the slave block or into the graveyard?

Suggestions, please, as some of you have been in good inventive form this week. I’ll start us off, as it’s Friday and all.

“Some Russians ‘were a bit peckish’ under Soviet Communism.”

Many citizens of the new USSR had less to eat than the minimum recommended daily calorific amount more than once in the early years after the Bolshevik Revolution. Historical research has uncovered contemporary accounts describing the absence of some foodstuffs from Soviet-era village shops and department stores on more than one occasion.


Mark Wadsworth said...

Well spotted!

Span Ows said...

Breaking News: "Bears Shit In Woods" by our Canadian correspondent reports:

Many visitors to the woods and even those who live nearby have often heard the phrase "What bears do" or the rhetorical question "Do bears shit in the woods?". Well now we know as video and testimonial evidence provided by the Clean Rural Areas and Parks think tank shows that at least some bears DO indeed do their business out in the open.

adamcollyer said...

Global Warming May be Faster Than We Thought

Scientists at the Red Brick University Climate Change Unit have uncovered evidence that global warming may be happening faster than previously thought.

Dr Heinz Propellor, director of the Unit, commented, "The new findings are truly shocking, and indicate the need for immediate action."

The researchers tested temperatures at 3 am and then again at noon. The average rise in temperature was 10.4 degrees Celsius. Dr Propellor said, "If these rates of increase are maintained, the planet is likely to become uninhabitable by Saturday. It is yet more evidence of the damage being done by emissions of greenhouse gases. The extremely fast variations in temperature over this nine hour period have only now been picked up in our climate change models, as we have refined them to take account of more detailed factors such as the sun rising. We need action now, especially on new green taxes."

He was prevented from speaking further by some men in white coats, who whisked him away in an ambulance. Another climate change martyr.

Jade said...

Not exactly what you were asking for, but I thought this might tickle you:

Dave H said...

Religious Orientation of Pope Questioned.

North Northwester said...

Hello, one and all. Sorry I'm late in getting back to your very welcome comments.
Life, y'know?

Ta, Mark. 'tis a wonderful thing Google; you search for one terrible thing and you find something even grosser.

Spans Owl - welcome and thanks for your deposit.
"Clean Rural Areas and Parks" - you slipped a little one out back there, I think…

Adam Collyer. Welcome too, and thanks also. Are you a Peter Simple fan, I wonder?
“He was prevented from speaking further by some men in white coats, who whisked him away in an ambulance. Another climate change martyr.”
I wish.
These people are whisked away alright…but in tax-financed limousines to jet airliners that take them to world-saving conferences. I’ll only start to respect that lot if they arrive on horseback, and then, probably not.

Jade, ah yes, thanks for that timely reminder that Dan Brown isn’t the only utterly inexplicable mystery of publishing.
“"For some reason Hitler's book is all the rage among educated people - on a typical day I can sell as many as five or six," Mabul told the BBC.”
We know a song about that, don’t we, children? Odd; how incurious the BBC is about the cause for these sales.
There’s still no copy on your blog yet, I see, but a boy can dream, can’t he?

Thanks Dave H. That was short, simple, and satisfying, like sex with a Welshman, or so they say.

James Higham said...

Hooda thunk it?


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