Hot gazpacho! The crisis is over.

Praise the Lord! Darwin was wrong.

The world cretin shortage is over.

Just look at these headlines and post titles. Because I‘ve sworn to use my powers only for good I’m not going to make you read the articles themselves, but if you’re in the mood for bitter laughter with your chocolate…

English pupils shoot up international maths table.

What with: automatic rifles or hypodermics?

US trains green workers of the future

Kermit will be relieved. Oh, and just you see what they’re doing to the US economy.

Tax-funded NHS 'best'

An oldie but a goodie and just about believable if you weren’t too sick or sober in 2002.

The EU and the Middle East Peace Process

See also ‘The EU and farming efficiency’ and ‘The EU and free markets.’

Obama declares 'America is not at war with Islam'

See also ‘It takes one to tango’ and ‘Peace breaks out across the Middle East.’

Blair says Brown 'not to blame'. Gordon Brown is not to blame for Britain's economic woes, former prime minister Tony Blair has said.

‘Tony Blair has said’ being the universally accepted antidote to doubt.

… also followed by this hauntingly prophetic headline from Business Week:

Britain: If The Economy Ain't Broke...

And my personal favourite:

Tories are ready govern at a moment's notice, insists bullish Cameron

Pity about the slight misspelling of that penultimate word…

We are so saved.

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