Sunday, 18 January 2009

Do you wanna be in my gang?

From The Telegraph

David Cameron, the Conservative leader, has warned that a Tory government would not introduce tax cuts during the recession.

You know, I think that Mister Cameron might be missing an important a point here and I ought to set him right.

Admitting that his words would disappoint many within the party, Mr Cameron insisted that the economic circumstances were not right for tax cuts in the immediate future, and said that his focus as prime minister would be on restoring confidence.

The warning came in an interview with the BBC's Andrew Marr Show, in which he attacked Gordon Brown's handling of the downturn and described Britain's spiralling debt as a "tragedy".

Asked if voters should expect an incoming Tory administration to slash public spending and introduce tax cuts, he said: "That's not what they should be thinking.

How to phrase it?

"They should be thinking this would be a responsible government that would make government live within its means, that would relieve some of the debt burden being piled up on our children.''

Mr Cameron refused to rule out tax increases after the election, saying it was a "very difficult question".

Vowing to rein back public spending in order to lower debt, he criticised recent Government measures, in particular last month's VAT reduction, saying: ``VAT cut - foolish. It hasn't worked. Long term, also foolish, because it will add to the national debt.

Got it.

Look, we’re the British people, yeah?- and we’re sitting on the offside window seat of the bus, right at the back. Now, Mister Brown is sitting next to us and blocking us in so we can’t get out and he keeps on touching us Down There.

Well, you’re the Leader of the Conservative party and it's like, kind of not your job to give us lip gloss and cigarettes and mobile phones and to offer us contraceptive advice, okay? You’re not supposed to tell us we look really pretty with our pigtails and ask us to be nice to the poor old gentleman who only has one eye. As Leader of the Opposition, right, you’re kind of like our dad, see, and it’s more your job to drag Mister Brown off the bus and maybe put his other eye out and to kick his pills to far up inside him that he’ll be gargling scrotal tissue for a month, right?

Point made?

Meanwhile, Mr Cameron refused to comment on reports that he was poised to move Kenneth Clarke, the former Chancellor, back to the front bench, as senior figures within the party warned that the return of the leading pro-European would prove divisive.

Oh and don’t promise us that if we’re good and stay on the bus right to the end you’ll take us to see that nice Mister Glitter. Just don’t, okay; it’s not at all comforting.


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